“What to do if you have a short temper?” Frequently becomes a question for my clients in my anger management classes. For many, having a short temper can significantly decrease their ability to make healthy choices. When dealing with the short tempers of people who do not appreciate you or have a high level of animosity toward you, there are some things you can do to effectively handle the situation.
What is Short Temper
A short temper is when you have a quick reaction to something that causes anger. People with a short temper are in a bad mood and quickly irritated. It’s hard to tell when someone might have a short temper because it can be quick and intense. For example, something like someone cutting you off in traffic can set you off. But, every individual is unique and has different triggers. If your boss criticizes you, that might be one of your triggers. Another person might be triggered by a lack of sleep. For some people even a small thing, like a fly buzzing around, can set them off. Sometimes people with short tempers are called “hot heads.” They’re quick to become frustrated when they have a lot on their plate
Many people experience anger and other intense emotions on a daily basis. If these experiences go unchecked, they can lead to aggression and even violence. Anger management and emotional intelligence are something that is important to have.
How to Deal With a Short Temper
Dealing with a short temper is not something that you should be embarrassed or ashamed about. It’s a way that people get frustrated with you and your capabilities. And it happens more often than you may think. Sometimes the best thing you can do when faced with a difficult situation is to simply return the favor by showing them that you’re grateful for their time and that you understand the situation that they’ve put themselves in. If that doesn’t work, then there are some other things you can do.
So often the first response to someone having a “short tempers” is anger. But anger at the wrong person can do more harm than good. Instead, try to find creative ways to help solve the underlying problem that is creating the short tempers.
How to Cope With a Short Temper
Learning how to cope with a short temper begins with understanding that your moods are not always your fault. Although shorter tempers are triggered by a person’s attitudes or perceived slights, there could be underlying health issues that are contributing to your inability to remain calm. If your stress levels are high, you could also be experiencing physical problems, such as headaches, stomach aches, or back pain. You may even be under a lot of stress from an unhealthy work lifestyle.
In the overwhelming majority of cases, solving your short tempers will be a combination of learning how to better deal with the problem and taking some time for yourself. For some people, being around others all the time, especially those with whom they have a very “short fuse”, can trigger their exaggerated short tempers. For these people, going out into social situations and staying aware of their surroundings and potential triggers will help them avoid situations that could lead to an eruption.
In addition, learning how to relax in between social activities may also be helpful. Practicing yoga or meditation regularly can help clear your mind of any negative thoughts and can help you get into a calmer state.
Know Your Short Comings and Triggers
For Many people, their inability to handle their short tempers can be caused by deeper issues. If you’ve been struggling with some type of self-issue, such as an insecurity issue, depression, or low self-esteem, you may have trouble understanding how short tempers develop and dealing with them.
Knowing what to do if you have a short temper and recognizing the need for professional help can help you get the help that you need to overcome your short tempers.
1. Acknowledfe The Problem
The first thing that you need to do if you’ve developed a short temper is to acknowledge your problem. Although it may seem counterintuitive, acknowledgment can often be the best medicine because it allows you to figure out why you’re angry and give you a chance to make an honest admission of your problem. For many people who have a short temper, the root of their problem isn’t an issue that they can easily address on their own but acknowledging your problem allows you to work it out without getting angry or frustrated yourself.
2. Take Some Time Out
The second thing that you should do if you have a short temper is to take some time out. Many people mistake anger for frustration or jealousy but these are two entirely different states of mind. When you’re dealing with a short temper, it’s important that you don’t let it overwhelm you and cause you to lash out at others. Taking a break from the situation that has caused you to become angry will allow you to take control of your emotions and hopefully keep your short tempers from returning. Recognizing the need to seek help if you have a short temper and recognizing that help is available, can go a long way in helping you overcome this problem.
Some Signs of a Short Temper
- You get angry over little things.
- You get enraged over small issues.
- You can’t control your anger.
- You feel like you’re going to burst with rage.
- You feel like you’re ready to explode.
- You become impatient over small issues.
- You get irritated at the slightest provocation.
- You have a habit of banging your fist on the table
- You have a short fuse and get angry at the slightest provocation
- You feel like you’re being treated unfairly
- You have trouble relaxing
- You often react before thinking
- You have trouble sleeping due to racing thoughts
- You often feel depressed and moody
- You lose your temper over little things
- You get angry when you are stuck in traffic
- You fly off the handle when you get a parking ticket
- You get irritated when the automatic coffee machine doesn’t work
- You shout when you get stuck in another queue
- You smash the window when you’re locked out of your car
How a Short Temper Affects Well-Being
How a short temper affects well-being can best be understood by understanding what the emotions behind the action are. In the case of anger this may be to protect one’s feelings. Anger, like all emotions, is usually an automatic response to some stimulus that causes pain or discomfort. The problem with a short temper is that it is not so easy to recognize when it is happening and then to calm oneself. This can lead to injuries, such as spasms or a stroke, and can also negatively affect one’s health.
A person with a short temper has;
Low self-esteem,
Has a poor sense of judgment,
And is very impulsive.
These negative emotions manifest as dangerous behavior that can be harmful to others. The inability to remain calm when faced with overwhelming emotion is often the downfall of those with this temperamental trait. If left unchecked, this type of negative emotion can explode and can cause injury and even death to others.
Here are Some Things You Can Do to Help Reduce Anger
Exercise to Control Anger
Anger is a natural, yet potentially dangerous, human emotion. Anger is needed to confront tasks that involve difficult or frustrating situations. However, before anger gets out of control, try countering it with exercise. In a study reported by ScienceNews, researchers found that people who exercised daily were less angry than those who were sedentary.
Keep a Mood Journal to Control Anger
Maintaining a mood journal is an often-used tool in managing one’s emotions in order to maintain a certain level of self-awareness. By writing daily, a person can track what makes them feel angry and how to avoid those triggers. If a person is prone to anger, they will know to avoid those things as much as possible in order to maintain their composure. It also provides a space for a person to express themselves freely and process their feelings. It might help to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
See a Therapist to Control Anger
The benefits of therapy for anger management It can be challenging to keep our anger in check. In some cases, it’s easier to be angry, rather than to control our emotions. We might feel like what we’re doing is justified, but it’s a bad idea. The consequences of uncontrolled anger can be severe. From ruining relationships to hurting ourselves and people we care about, there are many reasons not to allow anger to rule our lives. Discussing our feelings with a therapist can help us understand and manage our anger better. Anger management therapy is a good first approach for many people, and it’s a safe and long-term solution.
For more tips on managing anger check out our guide on anger management strategies to help you